Today was the first day of school. 5th grade for Austin and 1st grade for Owen. For the last 4 years, Owen attended preschool and went to kindergarten all at the same place. He had only 8 kids in his kindergarten class. All the kindergartners had been there since they had started preschool as well. Usually kindergarten is the first day of school for kids and can be scary going off like that for the first time. For Owen, it was like that for him today starting a new school with kids he didn’t know. I don’t know who was more upset, him or me.
Yesterday afternoon, we took him to the school, walked to his classroom and met his teacher in advance in hopes this would help with today. Both his father and I went with him this morning. As you can see, he wasn’t happy to be there. He asked many times this morning if he could stay home and go tomorrow. Let me tell you, I wanted to say yes. I’m not ready to let go of my baby. He’s the last one. There are no more babies in my home and it is extremely hard to let go.
He stood in line with all the other kids and once the teacher came to take them to class, that’s when the panic hit him. He ran over to me and clung to me leg as tight as he could, crying his little eyes out. I managed to calm him enough to walk with the others as long as I held his hand. Once we were at class, he really became hysterical. Some of the other kids started to get upset when they saw him crying as well. It took about 15 minutes, but we managed to get him inside and into his chair, sobbing the whole time as we walked out. Quickly we made our way back to our truck where I climbed in and proceeded to ball like a baby myself. My husband didn’t say anything and just patted my knee. He knew there was nothing he could say that would make it alright.
I’ve always heard the term ‘mamma’s boy’ and once I had my boys, I told myself my boys would never be ‘momma’s boys’. They would be independent and self-sufficient. My brother was a ‘momma’s boy’ up until his death at 33 and it drove me crazy. Now, I understand. Owen is my ‘momma’s boy’. He’s more attached to me than Austin ever was. I have no doubt I contributed to this. The baby is always the baby. Now I just need to let go. Yeah. Much easier said than done…sigh…