Trying to Breathe


It’s been 15 days since my last post.  I don’t like to go that long between posts but I’m going to say what so many of us say (which really isn’t an excuse but the truth) which is I’ve been really busy.  I truly have been.  That’s a good thing and a bad thing.  The good?  I like being busy and it gives me something constructive to do.  The bad?  Laundry and housekeeping are sorely lacking around here and my blog lies dormant.  My desk is covered with paperwork, pictures and blanks discs waiting to have a multitude of photos added to them for my son’s school yearbook.  The school musical is this Friday and that’s what has been keeping me extremely busy for the majority of the time as well but that’s a good thing because I love it.  Anything that involves my camera and photographs is always a good thing!

On Valentine’s Day we had a medical crisis involving my husband.  He’s had high blood pressure for about 20 years now and has been taking medications for all those years as well.  On Valentine’s Day it sky rocketed to stroke level which required immediate hospitalization.  The doctors were shocked that he was not having headaches or blurred vision or worse, a stroke.  The only thing that made his BP drop was nitroglycerin which he was subsequently sent home with as well.  There was no chest pain, but some slight pressure.  He was released after 3 days and yesterday we went to his appointment with a cardiologist.   His BP is too high for your basic stress test because you have to stop all your meds to do the test and that wouldn’t be safe for him.  Instead he’ll be admitted on an out patient basis on March 13th for a ‘nuclear stress test’.  They will give him something to make his heart pump hard and fast and then hook him up to all the necessary machinery to see what his heart is doing.  If he’s not in any danger from that test, he will then go to radiology where he will be pumped full of radioactive material so they can do an MRI of his heart to look for any damage that may have occurred. 

To say this has been occupying my thoughts, as well as everything that I have been doing,  is putting it lightly.  When I’m idle for any amount of time, it’s the first thing I think about.  When I go to bed and when I wake up, it’s there.  To say I’m terrified would be accurate.  I feel like I’m always holding my breath, waiting for the other shoe to drop. We have by no means discussed this around the kids but told them only what I think they’re able to understand and handle but still, they know something’s up.  If their dad is late getting home from work, they tell me to call him to find out where he’s at.  Anytime my husband sits down to read or watch TV, my youngest son is on his lap for the duration.  After the scare wtih my son last July, I think we’re all worried and scared in our own way.  I just want to breathe normally again.  School activity will start to slow down after this weekend which is a good thing right now.  Hopefully after the March 13th medical testing I can stop holding my breath.  What a good feeling that will be.  Have a great day everyone and remember to breathe!


5 Responses to “Trying to Breathe”

  1. Aimee Greeblemonkey Says:

    oh my! How scary!!!!!

  2. tracey Says:

    wow. so that’s what’s going on! goodness chris, i will light a candle for you today…for healing (hubby) and for peace (you). you’ve had your share of trials of late, that’s for sure! you’re on my mind and i am wishing you and your family only the best. hang in there! xo

  3. david, tree house man Says:

    another candle lit, to remind me to pray for my several friends, including you. We made it to March, can spring be far away?

  4. J. Says:

    Finally able to catch up with you, and I find you going through worries! I’m sorry chicklet.
    Saying everything will be fine won’t ease your worries, but … everything will be fine. ‘cuz I said so. 🙂
    Take some nice bubblebaths and stuff. Try not to stress.

  5. kindnessgirl Says:

    candles going all over my friend…peace.

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